


The Steel Man Remembers

by alchemise



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of trauma, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied noncon carnival, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mindbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-12 11:51:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15994619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemise/pseuds/alchemise
Summary: It was supposed to be a suicide mission. He was never meant to survive. But somehow Nate did, and now the Legends have to try and bring him home.





	The Steel Man Remembers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [telm_393](https://archiveofourown.org/users/telm_393/gifts).



"I _sent_ him on that mission. He was following my orders. I am responsible for what happened to him."

"Sara, he knew. He knew when he left that he wasn't coming back."

"Except he did come back."

"Did he? I don't think that's Nate anymore."

The steel man listened to their conversation impassively. It seemed to relate to him somehow; they kept using the name "Nate" like it should mean something to him. They'd called him by it when they took him from _there_ : the carnival. He ran the name through his mind, but there was no familiarity. He concluded it was a nickname of sorts. He'd had many nicknames at the carnival; most he knew were intended unflatteringly, but such things didn't hold a lot of meaning to him. Maybe they once had.

The new people kept talking. Arguing actually. Yelling, in the case of the small blond woman. She was so angry. He wondered idly if someone had harmed her. Although he'd seen her fight when they'd taken him away on their ship. She'd killed… many, at the carnival. She didn't seem like someone it would be easy to hurt.

But she was so upset. They all were. He knew it had something to do with him, but he wasn't sure what. He felt a moment of concern bubbling up from somewhere deep inside that he kept separate—safe—from the real world. He tamped it down, keeping himself expressionless and still. He was made of steel after all, and metal didn't worry.

Other than that brief moment of worry (he hadn't let himself look at it closely enough to know if it was for himself or this group still arguing over him), he decided that his new circumstances were an improvement over the old. No one had tried to hurt him. Not that those at the carnival ever succeeded, but they had tried often. No one had made him do anything, other than when they'd grabbed him and led him to their ship. They hadn't done… other things to him, like the people at the carnival liked to. Since the group had gotten him on board, they'd just left him sitting in a chair. They did talk a lot though, a constant buzzing that he only occasionally tuned in to.

Two of the men approached him: one tall, with an awkward sad smile and the other a little older and scarred, hanging back a few steps.

The tall one spoke, "Hey, Nate. Um, so I'm not sure if you can talk or communicate in some way, but we just want to make sure you're okay. You know, physically. So Gideon's just going to do a quick scan and you won't feel it or anything, but just, I wanted you to know what we were doing."

The steel man ignored the words, as they meant nothing to him, but the sound of the man's voice was pleasant enough. He was really paying attention to the other one though. The scarred man seemed filled with rage, burning just below the surface. He seemed similar to the blond woman that way. Like all he wanted was to hurt someone. The steel man wondered if he might even turn on his companions, all that fury lashing out, but it wasn't directed at them. He watched the man stare at him and wondered why he felt no fear. All that anger should have been terrifying—even steel could melt—but instead it seemed reassuring, though he didn't know why.

"Okay, done." The tall man turned to the other one and kept talking. "Gideon can't detect any injuries, so that's good. I guess. His body seems to work differently when he's steel like this. I'm not sure he even needs to eat or drink. He'd never stayed like this for long before."

Finally, the scarred man spoke, but kept his eyes locked only on the steel man, "So you don't know anything?"

"Um, no, not really. At least he's not hurt?"

"Yes, he is." The blond woman had approached without making a sound. The rest of the group followed behind her.

An older man spoke, "Maybe we should take him home. Let him be with his family."

" _We are his family._ "

A younger man tried to calm them. "Gray's right. I mean, you are too Sara. We are Nate's family. But what do we know about helping someone after what he went through. What if we make things worse?"

"They can't get worse than what was already done. He's staying here. The decision is final."

No one tried to argue with her (they kept saying each other's names, but he couldn't quite attach them to the right person). She turned and walked away, without another word. The others copied her, in different directions. Some in pairs, others alone. None looked at him, save the scarred man, and that was a face he couldn't read.

The steel man sat, alone. If he knew what peace felt like, it might have been this. It was quiet at least, just the hum of the ship (a sound that was familiar though he didn't know why) to keep him company. No one ever asked for his preferences, but still, it was all right here. He even thought he might like to stay, though he barely dared to allow such a thought.

After some time, the blond woman returned. She looked decided and unwavering. It felt reassuring.

"I need to tell you that I'm sorry. But not for sending you on that mission. We both knew you were the only one who could fix that tear in time. And we were right; you succeeded." She smiled softly at that. He thought he understood why she was their leader.

"But I am sorry for not believing in you. It was supposed to be a one-way trip. Yet you survived. I never came for you because it never occurred to me that you could be alive. So I'm responsible for what happened to you. But Nate, I need you to know now that I will not make that mistake again. I know what you're capable of, and this time, _I will not leave you behind_."

The steel man didn't understand all of her words or why she was speaking them to him, but nonetheless there was something to them. A glimmer, perhaps. Of a long buried memory. One he'd spent so long forcing away from his consciousness that it had stopped bothering him with attempts at remembrance. But he no longer felt that he had to hide it away. Here, on this ship, with these people, it might be safe to remember again.


End file.
